Wednesday, July 11, 2018
That Dream Again?
Last night I had a version of a reoccurring nightmare that I have had this time of year every year that I have been a teacher. It always happens about this time of summer- the time where you have forgotten what an alarm clock is for.
The plot of my dilemma is always the same. I start out by forgetting to go to school on the first day back. I then discover my plight, but too late to ever make it there on time. I then begin my mad dash to get there in my car, which goes pretty well since I usually speed there every day (don’t tell the law enforcement officials what kind of car I drive). The problem happens when I arrive.
In every dream, they (the administration of the school) have always moved my room to a location I have never been before, and I cannot find it. I am already late. School started an hour before, and I am guilty of the unpardonable sin for a high school teacher- I left my students alone, unattended.
Every high school teacher is taught the importance of supervising our students at all times. Some hall duties for teachers are given so that students will not find a corner stairwell an attractive place to really get to know one another, if you know what I mean. In my dream I am imagining my first block students pairing up in the four corners of my room (wherever it is) making babies.
This is where the dream starts getting unbelievable. I am scrambling through crowded halls (they wouldn’t be crowded if class had begun), getting instruction from students as to which way to go (you never show weakness to a high-schooler, always pretend to know what you are doing even when you don’t), and I am having to crawl through small open windows to gain entrance to the hall outside my room (that’s just ridiculous). Panic has set in by this point and I am physically sweating, trying to finally get to my destination, hoping to sneak in without notice, even though I’m an hour late.
I finally get there and open the door to find an administrator asking where I’ve been. At least he had maintained order enough to avoid my being personally responsible for all those babies conceived by unsupervised students connecting while under my care. He (it is always a male principal that I’m a little intimidated by) asks me again, “Where have you been?”
I have an argument going on inside myself. Do I tell him that I was attacked by zombies on my way there and one of them ate my phone (because I certainly should have called) before I broke away from them and managed to hitch a ride with another person who escaped and was headed right by the school (because I would never let a little thing like a zombie attack keep me from my job), or should I just tell the truth and throw myself on his mercy? Sleeping me is apparently a very moral me who never lies, so I tell the truth and always wake up with a gasp before I hear the outcome. Will he fire me or not?
I will probably have this dream again before school starts this year, so I have decided to try and find out what about it is so traumatic to me. If I were psychoanalyzing this dream I would say that the person has authority issues, a fear of failure, and the feeling of being given impossible tasks but expected to overcome. Since I am pretty familiar with the subject in the dream, I would say that about sums it up. So I guess when I go to sleep for the next few weeks, I will think about positive experiences with authority figures, tell myself I am okay even if I don’t succeed, and that I can do anything I try, or maybe I’ll try the zombie excuse next time and see how that goes. Sweet dreams!
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