Last night I had a version of a reoccurring nightmare that I
have had this time of year every year that I have been a teacher. It always
happens about this time of summer- the time where you have forgotten what an
alarm clock is for.
The plot of my dilemma is always the same. I start out by
forgetting to go to school on the first day back. I then discover my plight,
but too late to ever make it there on time. I then begin my mad dash to get there
in my car, which goes pretty well since I usually speed there every day (don’t
tell the law enforcement officials what kind of car I drive). The problem happens when I arrive.
In every dream, they (the administration of the school) have
always moved my room to a location I have never been before, and I cannot find
it. I am already late. School started an hour before, and I am guilty of the
unpardonable sin for a high school teacher- I left my students alone, unattended.
Every high school teacher is taught the importance of supervising our students
at all times. Some hall duties for teachers are given so that students will not
find a corner stairwell an attractive place to really get to know one another,
if you know what I mean. In my dream I am imagining my first block students pairing
up in the four corners of my room (wherever it is) making babies.
This is where the dream starts getting unbelievable. I am
scrambling through crowded halls (they wouldn’t be crowded if class had begun),
getting instruction from students as to which way to go (you never show
weakness to a high-schooler, always pretend to know what you are doing even
when you don’t), and I am having to crawl through small open windows to gain
entrance to the hall outside my room (that’s just ridiculous). Panic has set in
by this point and I am physically sweating, trying to finally get to my
destination, hoping to sneak in without notice, even though I’m an hour late.
I finally get there and open the door to find an
administrator asking where I’ve been. At least he had maintained order enough
to avoid my being personally responsible for all those babies conceived by
unsupervised students connecting while under my care. He (it is always a male
principal that I’m a little intimidated by) asks me again, “Where have you
been?”
I have an argument going on inside myself. Do I tell him
that I was attacked by zombies on my way there and one of them ate my phone
(because I certainly should have called) before I broke away from them and
managed to hitch a ride with another person who escaped and was headed right by
the school (because I would never let a little thing like a zombie attack keep
me from my job), or should I just tell the truth and throw myself on his mercy?
Sleeping me is apparently a very moral me who never lies, so I tell the truth
and always wake up with a gasp before I hear the outcome. Will he fire me or
not?
I will probably have this dream again before school starts
this year, so I have decided to try and find out what about it is so traumatic
to me. If I were psychoanalyzing this dream I would say that the person has authority
issues, a fear of failure, and the feeling of being given impossible tasks but
expected to overcome. Since I am pretty familiar with the subject in the dream,
I would say that about sums it up. So I guess when I go to sleep for the next
few weeks, I will think about positive experiences with authority figures, tell
myself I am okay even if I don’t succeed, and that I can do anything I try, or
maybe I’ll try the zombie excuse next time and see how that goes. Sweet dreams!
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