
I identified with what she was saying, being willful from
birth myself. Although I knew the scriptures that talked about being a child of
God and could even quote them, at that moment God brought me a greater
understanding about what being God’s child might mean.
I’ve been a mama for a very long time, over thirty-three
years. During that time my kids have done things that I wished they hadn’t,
things that frustrated me, aggravated me, and if I get honest- made me very
mad. In the midst of my harshest anger, never did I stop loving my child. In
fact, if you, as an outsider, questioned my child’s behavior I would have stood
by them and defended them in spite of their wrongs- for they are my child. The
mama bear in me would fight any enemy for them, not based on what they have
done for me, but because they are mine.
I guess I have a better understanding of unconditional love
than the idea that I am God’s child. This morning as God brought to mind my
unconditional love for my children, he showed me that he feels that way about
me. Nothing I have done could ever change that love.
I guess my problem in accepting myself as a ‘child of god’
has something to do with it being such a long time since I felt like a child.
In fact, I have a hard time remembering being child-like, without a care in the
world. I have equated child-like with irresponsibility- which should not be the
case. I decided today that I need to focus of being the loved child that I am,
not based on what I do, but because of whose I am. Instead of skimming over
scriptures that tell me I am a child of God, I need to believe them, practice
them, and embrace them.
As I imagined what being a child would be like (since I
really cannot remember being one) I came up with a list of sorts to help me to
be child-like:
Children trust. A child does not worry that it might not be
cared for by the parent until it is taught to do so. The child just expects
love and care from the parent.
Children explore and learn. A child takes their first steps and
stumbles knowing that the parent will pick them up and encourage them to try
again. They don’t allow the fear of failure stop their efforts; they know
failing is part of learning.
Children laugh a lot. My eighteen-month-old grandson is a spontaneous
laugher. Even when nothing is funny he will laugh. We all need to laugh more.
Children have fun. Children have a natural tendency to always
look for something to enjoy and will move on from something that is not fun and
try other things until they find enjoyment.
Children dare to dream. They pretend. They imagine. They are
not busy looking around at the reality of the now that they cannot imagine
something different.
I have decided to take some time to practice these things.
Maybe this fifty-four-year-old child can feel more loved and protected by her
heavenly father and remember being child-like is not irresponsible, but is what
I am called to be. Maybe today I will hop on a swing and feel the breeze in my hair as I soar free as a child.
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