
Last week I needed to get some cash and instead of going to
the ATM, I decided to walk around the newly remodeled Target. Not needing
anything, but knowing that a purchase of some sort is required to get cash back,
I wandered to the candy aisle. I didn’t want a full-on, candy binge with
chocolate, caramel, and nuts – just something small, slightly tangy, and chewy.
I decided on a small bag of Jelly Belly jellybeans with its label boasting of
30 flavors.
At my desk I opened the bag and dumped a few in my hand to
examine them. I am sure there are some wacky people out there that just eat a
handful of them, although I’m not sure how you could mix licorice, sizzling
cinnamon, and coconut together for a great taste.
So I proceeded with my method. I dumped them out a handful
at a time and used the handy guide on the back of the bag to identify the ones
for consumption. Out of the thirty flavors, the one that I was happiest to find
was juicy pear. When the first one of those melted between my teeth I marveled
at how close to a pear the little circle of sugar tasted. There were three of
them. Then I methodically picked out the only other ones I could stand to eat:
green apple, lemon lime, Sunkist lemon, Sunkist tangerine, and peach. I raked
the rest into a pile and put them back into the bag. Who wants to eat toasted
marshmallow, tuti-fruiti or bubble gum flavored jelly beans anyways? What is
really bad is when you pick up a yellow one thinking it is a Sunkist lemon and
it turns out to be buttered popcorn, then you are forced to find another one
you can stand to get the taste out of your mouth.
After an hour of sorting, eating a few, and being randomly
disappointed I came to a conclusion that I probably should have discovered much
earlier in my life. If you are craving a juicy pear, don’t be too lazy to walk
to Publix, use their ATM, and buy the real thing. Sugary substitutes are always
a poor imitation or as Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell sang years ago "Ain't nothing like the real thing, baby."
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